Fifty Shades of Grey has now outsold Harry Potter as the fastest selling paperback

So, I heard the news today that Fifty Shades of Grey written by E.L James has now outsold Harry Potter as the worlds fastest selling paperback and its definitely causing a stir!





For those of you who have been living in a cave over the last twelve months, the book is a piece of Erotic Fan Fiction which follows the relationship between Anastasia Steele, an innocent college graduate and a successful businessman Christian Grey. Anastasia interviews Mr Grey as a favour for a friend and he develops what appears to be an unhealthy interest in her in return.

The story explores the growth of their sexual relationship and plays greatly upon the innocence of Anastasia and her sexual awakening. The sex scenes are erotic and the couple fall madly and passionately in love with each other. Very much like its Twilight comparison, there are times when I would have liked the use of a sick bucket as it had a tendency to become quite nauseating. They have an obession with each other that consumes every waking moment of their lives and it can be very difficult to stomach! Also, I would have liked the story to focus more on Christian's history and the reasons why he enjoys this way of life. There was some exploration of his past but I didn’t think that this was enough for a reader to understand the motives behind the man.

Mr Grey is tortured by his inner demons and suffers from a need to control women, usually with BDSM. He attempts to entice the (eventually) willful Miss Steele into the world of a Dominant / Submissive relationship. At times I found this character trait extremely unnerving (in particular the need to control) and I really struggled to find any part of his character and its flaws endearing. The fear that Anastasia had of 'upsetting' Christian and making him angry made me very uncomfortable. I had a friend that was in a very destructive and controlling relationship and there were a lot similarities between the behaviour of her ex partner and Christian Grey's behavior. There was a particular scene in the first book where Anastasia announces that she wants to visit her Mother which I found very difficult to read for this reason. Christian reacts very badly and she is extremely intimidated and frightened of his reaction. Reading about a woman feeling this way is not entertaining for me and I didnt like it one bit.

I really struggled to read the first book and didn’t enjoy it at all. I found it tedious and thought that it spent a lot of time mulling over whether or not the contract should be signed instead of an actual storyline. However, the pace did quicken slightly with the subsequent books and I could tolerate them better once Anastasia discovered that she did have a mind and a life of her own after all.

As a series I wasn’t overly impressed. There is a lot of hype surrounding the trilogy and I think that this may have done the series more harm than good as people tend to feel disappointed when they expect so much more. Christian is 26, absolutely gorgeous to the point where most women turn into blushing, incompetent idiots around him, he can fly or drive anything that crosses his path, he is rich beyond anybody's wildest dreams and has sex like a machine! No rest period required between shags EVER and Anastasia only needs to look at him before breaking into her 'shattering into a million pieces' orgasm and its ALWAYS a multiple orgasm session. I didn’t find the sex scenes too raunchy either and even quite dull after a while. I ended skipping through them which says a lot for me!

The plot in my opinion, is quite weak and so much more could have been done with this story. Interesting events were always skirted over for another half baked sex scene and more instant multiple orgasms!

The series has done amazingly well though and seems to be taking over the world at the moment! I appear to be in the minority with my view on the book and I really do wish E.L. James all the best with her future career. The book has managed to outsell the books from the Harry Potter Trilogy and you can see how she has grows as a writer as each book progresses, the details become slightly more intricate and the storyline becomes a little bit deeper with every book. You can actually see how her confidence grows and that is nice to see!

Review of the Advanced Clitoral Pump

Review of the Advanced Clitoral Pump

By Lady Spanky

When I was given this assignment I actually laughed out loud, I have never seen anything like the Clitoral Pump before and wasn’t too sure whether it would be something that I liked. However, like the open minded individual that I am I decided to give it a go and see how I got on.

The product arrived in a bog standard cardboard box and was contained inside a plastic bag. My first impression of the pump was that it was a beautiful sparkly pink colour and was really pretty to look at! It measured 16 centremetres from head to foot and came with two different attachments to use. One was full of bumpy nodules and the other was a smooth cup. It also comes with a sponge to soak up any excess lubricant and prevent it from leaking into the vibration unit.

Because of the funny shape and the large ‘pump attachment’ this toy is not easy to store. It would need to be kept in a drawer or cupboard. It is 100% phthalates free and can also be easily washed with soap and water or toy cleaner but the instructions advise against submerging the toy in water as this will cause it to malfunction. There are no batteries included with this toy either which was quite disappointing, luckily I live in a house with a lot of remote controls! The batteries required are 2 AAA batteries and are easily placed in the bottom of the toy which unscrews.

According to the instructions the Advanced Clitoral Pump was designed to increase blood flow for more intense genital sensations and can be used with or without vibrations. To use, you place the scoop over your clitoris and use the bulb to create a soothing suction and can also add a vibration feature to increase the sensations. It is designed to be used to enhance self-pleasure or with a partner. The toy has three levels of vibration from weak to strong and these are activated by pressing the button on the side of the unit. The more presses you do the stronger the vibration.

So, armed with this information I settle down with the pump. I am quite looking forward to some new and unusual sensations so I place the head accordingly and squeeze the pump as instructed and… nothing. The pump itself caved in and I had to remove the unit to let the air back into the pump so I could use it again. I manoeuvre the unit round slightly and press it on harder and squeeze the pump… still nothing and it caves in again. Bemused, I try it on my hand and do feel a mild suction so I put it back in place and still feel nothing?

After re-reading the instructions, I can’t understand how I can be using it wrong so I try it with the vibration unit switched on to be if it works better. The cup that that came attached to the unit was the cup with the nodules and although the vibration feels quite nice the suction pump still doesn’t work.

I tried switching the head to the smooth attachment to see if that works better and couldn’t even get it on. It was at that point I gave up. I felt annoyed, frustrated and quite frankly ripped off! I have never been so disappointed in a sex toy and certainly wouldn’t recommend that anyone go out and buy it. The whole episode just felt like hard work.

I have yet to try this toy with a partner and there is a good chance that it would work better but this is not the toy for a Lone Ranger. In fact, the only pleasure I got from it was throwing it to the back of the cupboard!

Veet For Men Hair Removal Reviews

I might ask some of these men to review my Sex Toys, the funniest and most entertaining reviews that I have read for a long time!

Please scroll down to the bottom of the page and take a look, you wont be disapointed!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Veet-Men-Hair-Removal-Creme/dp/B000KKNQBK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1340133535&sr=8-1

Cosmo's Most Ridiculous Sex Tips

I Love Cosmopolitan Magazine and haven't had a Cosmo-free month for years ( I would be lost!) However, I loved this feature by a Blog called Nerve and thought I would share it with you.

It discusses some of the Cosmo Sex Tips from over the years and puts a male perspective on them. Very funny and great for a lighthearted read.

Enjoy!

http://www.nerve.com/advice/ridiculous-tips/the-best-of-ridiculous-tips-for-a-miserable-sex-life-emcosmopolitan-em-edition?page=2

Can A Sex Toy Change Your Life?

Right so you have read my stories and reviews and heard all about my Voluptasse Business, but what do you actually know about me? (Perhaps too much at times...)

Firstly, let me introduce myself. My name is Melissa Macfarlane, I own a company called Voluptasse which Sex Toys and Lingerie and I am also a writer of Erotic Fiction.

Sex toys are fabulous contraptions of all shapes and sizes which are designed to give you hours of endless pleasure. They can bring a spark to the most mundane of relationships and are guaranteed to bring a twinkle to the eye of any user, but…. Can a sex toy change your life?

Geri Haliwell said that the first time she used a Sex Toy it was a 'life changing experience' and i am inclined to agree.

Here is my story…

I had a very difficult childhood and grew up as a young woman with a lot of personal issues. I had difficulty with any kind of intimacy and believed that sex was something that you had to do because it was ‘normal’ part of any relationship. I didn’t enjoy it, in fact I hated it. My partner (at the time) and I tried so many things to help me relax but it just didn’t seem possible.

After years of struggling with my feelings and suffering with what I now believe to be sexual dysfunction, I attended a home party where they were selling lingerie and sex toys. Some of the guests there were girls that I hadn’t seen for a long time. As we relaxed over drinks I was astounded by their completely relaxed attitudes towards their sex lives. Nothing was off limits, everything was discussed and after some strong recommendations from the other girls (and dutch courage) I found myself investing in a small Bullet vibrator.

I had never owned a sex toy before and remember nervously reading up on the internet exactly how this bullet vibrator was supposed to be used. I switched it on and was completely amazed at how powerful it was! It was very quiet and discreet and the results were absolutely brilliant and it delivered in less than 10 seconds!

For the first time in my life I began to understand exactly what all of the fuss was about. I was surrounded by a feeling of complete euphoria and it was wonderful. That little silver bullet felt like the best friend that I never had. If I was having trouble sleeping, or had a terrible day at work, or simply felt horny the bullet would come out and all stress would be relieved.

Through this new area of ‘self discovery’ I began to learn a lot more about how my body worked and what made me tick. I also found that at times when my body was unable to relax during sex that It helped to sing a song in my head to stop me over thinking everything (one of the best pieces of advice I ever received!).

However, by this point the problems within my marriage had reached a point where intimacy between my husband and I had become scarce. Because I felt more relaxed we did try to bring a spark into the marriage but we were stuck in a rut that we just couldn’t get out of. The marriage had been in serious trouble for a long time for various different reasons, and unfortunately we had reached a point where we just couldn’t save it.

I buried myself in dealing with the kids and juggling the household but continued on my ‘journey of self discovery’ until I became quite happy and content with my body. In short, I was relaxed with my sexuality and was enjoying a much needed break from intimacy with another person.  I had my first ‘encounter’ a few months after the separation and surprisingly, I found sex to be quite an enjoyable experience.

This was a massive difference from the scared, dysfunctional girl from less than 12 months ago. I was interested in the experience and I wanted to learn all those new things that I had spent years shying away from. I still loved my collection of toys BUT I had reached the point where I was ready for something more..

These days I can happily say that I feel 100% more confident and comfortable with myself and I am truly happy for the first time in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that my drastic personality change is solely the work of a Vibrator but I do believe that buying that first small bullet was a catalyst for helping me connect with myself and to help me deal with my emotions. The rest of the pieces of the jigsaw seemed to fall into place by themselves!

In June 2011, I set up my internet based company www.voluptasse.co.uk which sells sex toys and lingerie both online and through Home Parties. I am passionate about sex toys and love selling them and matching the right toy with the right person. Rather like solving a puzzle, every women is different and I often find myself acting as a kind of agony aunt for some very similar problems to what I had. Some women enjoy clitoral stimulation whereas others prefer a G Spot orgasm. For those who prefer a ‘blended’ orgasm (G-spot and Clitoral together) we look at toys like Rabbits and I advise on the right way to use them and how to get the best out of your toy collection.

I decided to broaden our range to include lingerie and costumes up to size 24 so that all shapes and sizes of women are catered for, I believe that every woman deserves to feel sexy and with the right type of underwear this is always possible! We also sell an exquisite vintage range of clothing that is all handmade to your measurements so our clients get the best possible fit.

My parties are fun filled and there is no hard sell, unlike other home selling companies as the products that I sell speak for themselves. Parties are free to book and our Hosts / Hostesses earn 15% commission from the total orders of their guests. The parties are my favourite aspect of my job as I get to meet new people, watch them get drunk and make them do some very daft  things all whilst selling my beloved toys and lingerie.

I have also rediscovered another passion that I have and that is writing, I used to write a lot during my younger years but had to stop for various reasons and I never seemed to have the time to pick it up again. Through Voluptasse, I discovered Blogging and started to write my own Blog and Erotic Fiction and the response had been fantastic! I really am having the time of my life!

Therefore, I am a big believer that a sex toy can change your life. it certainly did for me and I haven’t looked back since J

Erotic Trade Magazine :)

Here I am featuring in the Erotic Trade Magazine, I have been nominated for a Mumpreneur Award in the Business Start up Category and the Inspirational Business Mum Award!

Really proud today, its been hard work but things like this make everything worth it!

Wish me luck :)

Our Voluptasse Diamond Jubilee Themed Party!

Voluptasse celebrated the Queen's Diamond Jubilee in style at Samantha Bufton's Voluptasse Party.

The girls arrived armed with wine and spirits as they prepared to get stuck into our Jubilee themed games. Their first task was to create outfits fit for a Queen out of white binbags, drink my Jubilee themed super shots and be 'Papped' by the Voluptasse Paparazzi (aka ME!)

Take a look at these masterpieces!

After a little bit more Dutch Courage the girls took part in a very sexy fashion show where the braver girls tried on some of our Lingerie and showed off their lovely curves with our beautiful collection (sorry boys, there are no pics!).

Our Jubilee Party got a lot wilder after some very unladylike games, some very naughty dares and everyones favourtire part of the evening - Checking out our collection of Sex Toys!

After a fabulous fun filled evening the girls headed off to meet the boys in town, but not before finishing off with a cheeky Pole Dance around the lampost!

Book a Voluptasse Party and enjoy a fabulous night in with your friends! You earn 15% comission from your Guests orders AND will recieve a free gift if we get two party bookings on the night of your party. Parties are FREE to book and both Men and Women are welcome.

See our listing for our full range of Parties - we can tailor your party to your needs!

To book your party you can email me at Voluptasse@virginmedia.com or call Melissa MacFarlane on 07545810798.